“Self love is when you put yourself first without being selfish, when you listen to your mind and heart and decide to take a moment and breathe, heal.” Author Unknown
Loving ourselves is important to creating wellbeing and maintaining a strong connection with Divinity. It’s not always easy because we tend to have hidden judgments about who we are, our worthiness and our value as a person. If we don’t have love for ourselves, then it’s difficult to be connected to Divinity or feel our self worth. There are many myths in our world about how self-love is egotistical or selfish, often dubbed as ego-tripping. Ego-tripping is operating from a place of low self-esteem, and making choices and decisions in life based on how you are seen, and accepted by others, operating solely for self-interest, often while judging others. Self-love is operating from the heart, attuning with our personal needs and setting healthy boundaries with others. Making healthy decisions from a place of understanding that we all have limitations enables us to release those limitations and heal. Self-love is the best care you can offer yourself and will allow you to heal more completely. “When we act from our ego we are unable to recognize the Divinity within, the opposite is true when we practice self-love. Ego for example can take the form of being caught in the paradigm ‘better than or lesser than’ towards ourselves or others. On the other hand, when we love and have compassion for ourselves we can feel the same for others, we are not moved by comparisons anymore, we are free." Author Unknown As children, and not yet changed by our experiences of the world, we often have healthy egos. As we grow up, we begin to learn negative lessons about loving ourselves. Most people have some negative programming in their past. For some, it’s how our parents were raised and how they raised us in similar fashion. We heal our skewed perspectives and beliefs by recognizing where this programming limits us, whatever that may be, and then work on releasing it, and transforming that energy into love for ourselves. There are ways to maintain balance with ourselves energetically. All of these ways honor the whole holistic person. ● We can intentionally connect with our hearts and souls, and spend time grounding and centering our energy. ● We can plan, and manage our time and activities better. ● We can ask for help and support from others ● We can ask for help and support from the Universe. The practice of self-love is the act of taking care of your holistic whole person. It reminds us of our capacity to be both loving and lovable. It is also being kind to yourself, being able to forgive and trust yourself, let go of judgment, set healthy boundaries, prioritize your needs, and value your worth just as you are now, in the present moment. The result of cultivating healthy self-love is that it can boost your health and overall sense of well-being. “Research has shown that those who practice self-love and self-forgiveness have better mental and emotional well-being, more positive attitudes and healthier relationships. A related outcome ties self-compassion with higher levels of success, productivity, focus and concentration.” Kate Shumake As self-love is subjective, it can be experienced differently by everyone, but there are common denominators that make it an important component to spiritual healing. For example, when we feel better about ourselves, we tend to treat ourselves better. When we treat ourselves better, we tend to have more desire to engage in activities and events that replicate the feelings of happiness and joy. We feel empowered to disengage from people and situations that don’t elicit joy and happiness. Our beautiful inner environment is vastly intricate and complex with a wide variety of landscapes, but sometimes in order to explore these sacred places we need to dig deep. Like crystals that form slowly over time with heat and pressure, we too are multifaceted, unique and precious; gradually being shaped and tempered by our life experiences. We seek connection with these deep places within ourselves because there is much wisdom to be gathered and we seek to live a life that is grounded and centered at the very core of ourselves. When we lose connection with our inner landscapes, we live ungrounded from our life force energy. We may feel disconnected, untethered from our true source of wisdom; we may feel confused or lost at times. But we always have the power to reconnect.
Using Our Natural Resonance to Reconnect
Another Little Exercise It isn’t selfish to love yourself, and when we discover any obstacles in loving ourselves, we can do this little exercise. Think back to a time when you felt love for yourself. Gently ask yourself: What did that feel like? Why don’t I feel like that now? When or how did things change? Connect with any imagery or thoughts that surface through our gentle inquiry. Then ask: How do I care for my holistic self? What nurtures me? What nourishes me? What brings me joy? What do I love about me? Quietly reflect on these questions.
Journal your answers to these questions, and keep in mind that these things will change and evolve as you change and evolve. The path to self love is a lifelong journey, so be sure to release judgment about your progress. Hold yourself with gentleness, beautiful soul. This isn't a race.
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